Dreams & Life

Let me first start out by saying that i normally dont have dreams alot.
So when i wake up & remember them it's not cool.

I must be sleeping too much these past few days or something,i dunno. but i dont
like what dream i did have last night. hings must be weighing on me more than i
think they are. I dreamed that granpa was released from the hospital in a very
sickly condition to come home. (he has been gone for over 20yrs now) We were all
happy to see him, at least he was walking around. Grandma was very happy
obviously. (she has been gone for over 6-8 years now)

The next day of waking up i was told by my brother-in-law that grandpa had
died last night. When i asked where it happened he showed me in the fron yard, and
the body was still there waiting to be picked up. The body looked like maybe it
would now if we dug it up. My cousin whom we have always been close with granma/pa
& each other couldnt take it. she ran off outta state.

For some odd reason (as dreams often do) i was stopping off in a little
town in Oregon on my way back to home. I had stopped at some little town to look
around. kinda like an old miner/fort historical place. I was walking in buildings
that were offices (cause i do just walk into places i dont belong if i wanna see
what it is) and one was a cataloging place for dead/dismembered body parts. At odd
chance my cousin was working there, in the heads section. So while i was talking
to her while she worked cataloging the heads & wrapping them for storage.
I was telling her how she needed to come back with me because grandma needed both
of us more than ever to be with her. Then i remember that we were sitting on a
sofa in the building going through the trinket belongings of the dead.In passing i
noticed i was dressed at this point in clothes that i wore when i was in my late
teens. A little after this i awoke from that dream.

Guess i have alot of unresolved issues in my head about them being gone,
that & the fact that on the 15th of this month will be the day my wife past away.
(sept.15th 2008) I did go visit my cousin at work last night, so maybe seeing her
just brought all that up to the front & i didnt realise it ?

4th of july

Things went well. Went to kuzz'z house. Her b-day is on the 1st but she always celebrates it on the 4th. I tended the bbq grill like normal. 4 hours later i was done cooking everything,heh. It was dark enuff' for the kids to start burning down the neighborhood, so we move to the front yard. Ended up with over $1000 worth of fireworks ,like wtf!? heh But there were enuff' kids that they knocked em all out in about 3 hrs. Somewhere towards the end of the fireworks frey my heart decided it wanted to stop for a bit, nbd it's not like it's the first time. But after it picked up again my right leg cramped up so bad i was kinda holloring about it (now that was new). Took me about 30 mins to get some control over my leg again. So that was around i wanna say 9:30pm. it's 4:30am now & my leg has been numb for hours now, wonder if that means anything ? heh.

EEHAFBWTFN

So the way i sees it. everybody else seems to have a blog these days, so i figures why the fuck not ?